Welcome to After the Ashes

I don’t know what brought you here today. Perhaps a friend sent you the link, or you picked up my book and got curious about the woman behind it. Maybe it’s late, the house is quiet, and you typed a question into a search bar that you haven’t been able to say out loud to anyone. However you arrived, I’m glad you did, and I’d like to tell you a little about where you are.

After the Ashes is a new home on the web for anyone rebuilding a life after loss. I use that word broadly. Loss can be a death, and for many readers it is. It can also be a divorce you never wanted, a diagnosis, a job or a home that disappeared, a child whose struggles have rearranged your whole family, or the wreckage left by your own worst decisions. Some lives fall apart in a single phone call. Others erode slowly over years, until one morning you barely recognize what’s left. Either way, the question waiting on the other side is the same: what now?

That question is the reason this site exists.

Who’s writing to you?

My name is Leah Stirewalt. I live in the foothills of western North Carolina with my four youngest children, all of whom came to me through adoption. I’m also a mom to a grown daughter, a stepmom (or, as I like to say, bonus mom) to four adults, and a grandmother. I was widowed twice by the time I turned 45. Since my second husband died, I have parented on my own, and several of my kids have special needs that shape nearly every day in our house.

I’m telling you this so you know what kind of company you’re keeping. I have no counseling degree and no formula to offer. What I do have is experience. I’ve had to start over more than once; I’ve gotten plenty wrong in the process, and I have watched God keep meeting me in the rubble.

My faith in Christ sits at the center of how I make sense of my story, and I write from that place without apology. You are welcome here whatever you believe, though, and that includes anyone who might even be angry at God or unsure He’s there at all. Hard questions don’t frighten me. I’ve asked a good many of them myself.

If your loss is brand new

Please don’t feel you need to read everything. In the early days, you can only take in a few sentences at a time, so start small. On the Resources page, there’s a free printable called 7 Prayers You Can Use This Week. It gives you one short prayer for each day, written for the moments when you have no words of your own.

Further down that page is a list of books and websites that have helped me and others, sorted by need. You’ll see titles for grieving children, a section for anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide, and trusted organizations like GriefShare, which can point you to a support group near you. If you are in crisis yourself, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available by call or text in the United States at any hour.

If you’re ready for one small step

There comes a point, and nobody can tell you when, when surviving the day stops being the only goal, and you begin to wonder about next week. I made the Rebuilding Library for that stretch of road. It’s a collection of printable worksheets, and several of them are free.

One Brick at a Time helps you name what you’re rebuilding and choose a single step forward. Control and Release walks you through sorting what you can manage from what you can place in God’s hands. Who Am I Now is for the disorienting identity questions that follow a major loss, when the roles you used to fill have changed or vanished. A handful of other tools, including a seven-day guide called The Rebuilding Reset, are available for a few dollars each.

If you’d like a daily companion

My devotional, After the Ashes: A 30-Day Devotional for Rebuilding Your Life After Loss, was published in October 2026. Each day offers a Scripture passage, a short reading, and a question for reflection. I arranged the thirty days in four movements. They begin in The Ashes, move through The Long Dark and First Embers, and end with Rebuilding, because healing has never once hurried for me and I doubt it will for you. The Book page has a sample chapter you can read for free, along with a link to the paperback and Kindle editions.

If you’d rather read or listen

The Blog is where I write about grief, faith, single parenting, shame, and ordinary life in the middle of it all. You can browse by topic and skip whatever doesn’t apply to you. A few posts are already waiting, including “Let Me Know If You Need Anything” and “What Shame Tried to Silence.”

For those who take things in better by ear, the After the Ashes Podcast is on its way. I’ll share from my own story, and guests will join me to talk about how they came through their own devastation. Once it launches, you can listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube, and I’ll post every episode here as well.

If you’re here for someone else

Many visitors come on behalf of somebody they love. You watched a sister bury her husband or saw a friend’s marriage end, and you want to help without making things worse. Bless you for that. The Resource page includes a book written specifically for friends of the grieving, and you’re welcome to pass along any of the free printables.

Church and ministry leaders may want to visit the Speaking page. I speak at women’s conferences, retreats, and church events. One of my messages, Surrounding Single Parents, was written to help congregations care well for the solo moms and dads in their pews, who are often lonelier and more worn out than anyone around them realizes.

What I can promise you

You’ll get honesty from me. When I have no answers, I will say so, and I’ll never suggest your grief should end by a certain date. I’ll talk about faith the way I actually live it, including the hard days. I will also keep adding to this site, so what you see today is a beginning, and I hope you’ll come back to see what’s new.

Stay close

If you’d like to hear from me regularly, you can subscribe to my newsletter from the home page. As a welcome gift, I’ll send you a free printable guide, 7 Truths I’ve Learned About Rebuilding After Loss. For readers who want conversation as well, there’s an After the Ashes community on Substack, where I write every week, and paid members receive the full Rebuilding Library at no cost. The Contact page is open too, for prayer requests, questions, or simply sharing something on your heart. I’d be honored to hear your story.

Years ago, in the first raw weeks after a funeral, I could not have pictured a life worth building on the other side. I would have told you the fire took everything. It did take a great deal. But ashes, I’ve learned, are also where new things grow, and something has been growing here for a while now. So come in. Look around for as long as you like. There is still hope after the ashes, and I’d be glad to look for it with you.